The Third Season 1953-54


65-Ricky's Life Story
LIFE magazine has done a home picture layout on the Ricardos. The pictures include Ricky, Little Ricky, and a view of Lucy's left elbow. Therefore, Lucy needles her husband into getting her into show business so her photos will be in demand. She rigs herself out in a Spanish costume and tries to augment a Cuban number sung by Ricky.

66-Ricky and Fred Are TV Fans
When Lucy and Ethel become TV boxing-match widows, they decide to go out for a bite to eat, leaving their husbands in front of the Ricardo TV set. Everyone at the local cafe is also glued to the TV set, so Lucy decides to help herself and gets caught with her hand in the cash register. She manages to escape the cop's clutches by yelling, "Look -- a knockout!" With Ethel, she takes refuge on the roof of their apartment building. Guest star Frank Nelson is back and in uniform as Sergeant Nelson in episode 66.

67-Never Do Biz With Friends
The Ricardos get a new washing machine. Despite Ricky's apprehensions, they sell their old one to the Mertzes for thirty-five dollars. The next day, the old machine erupts like a volcano. The Mertzes call the machine a "lemon" and take the stance that since no money has changed hands yet, the deal is invalid. This causes a tremendous fight between the couples. This episode offers a rare glimpse of the back of the Mertzes' apartment building.

68-The Girls Go Into Business
It's touch-and-go for Lucy and Ethel as they buy a dress shop on a shoestring and promptly go into the red. With typical beginner's luck, they unwittingly unload the losing venture on their husbands, Ricky and Fred. Listen and learn the Spanish phrase for "the check is good" in this episode.

69-Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress
Lucy wangles the star role in a revue staged by her women's club by promising that she will deliver her husband, Ricky, as the show's emcee. The fly in the theatrical ointment comes as Ethel Mertz, Lucy's arch rival for show honors, turns up in the same gown as Lucy's. In this episode, Lucy and Ethel sing the Cole Porter classic, "Friendship."

70-Equal Rights
After a heated argument about equal rights, during which the girls insist they want to be treated exactly as if they were men, the Ricardos and the Mertzes go off to an Italian restaurant for dinner. When the waiter, on Ricky's insistence, presents four separate checks, the girls discover they have no money.

71-Baby Pictures
A resolution by the Ricardos not to show snapshots of their youngster to their friends goes by the boards as two proud visitors, Charlie and Carolyn Appleby, gleefully exhibit pictures of their infant in a baseball suit resembling Little Ricky's. Listen for the classic Lucy quote: "Where do you keep your baby's cage?"

72-Lucy Tells the Truth
Lucy vows to tell the truth for twenty-four hours in order to win a bet. This lands her in a knife-throwing act on television. Her predicament stems from a little white lie during her round-the-clock truth test -- namely, that she can understand a talent agent who can't speak English. When he hires her, Lucy has a choice of facing the knife-thrower's blades or losing the bet. This is the episode where Lucy unwittingly reveals her true age, weight, and original hair color.

73-The French Revue
Ricky plans a French revue at the Tropicana. Lucy hires DuBois, a waiter at a French bistro, to teach Ethel and herself some conversational French. In exchange for the free lessons, Lucy promises to get DuBois into Ricky's show. At first Ricky is mad, but he finally agrees to hire the waiter on the basis of his excellent "Louise" rendition. However, much to Lucy's consternation, Ricky forbids her to come near the club. She does her best to get into the Tropicana in various disguises. Maurice Chevalier impersonations abound in this tribute to France.

74-Redecorating the Mertzes' Apartment
The Ricardos nearly wreck the apartment of their landlord friends, the Mertzes, when they try to help decorate their apartment and Lucy proves herself an inferior decorator.

75-Too Many Crooks
Fred's birthday is approaching, and the Ricardos decide to buy him a custom-made tweed suit as a surprise. Lucy sneaks into the Mertz apartment to borrow one of Fred's old suits as a model. But Mrs. Trumbull, unaware of Lucy's intentions, sees her and tells Ethel. Because of a robbery scare in the neighborhood involving a "Madame X," Ethel immediately jumps to the conclusion that Lucy is she.

76-Changing the Boys' Wardrobe
Lucy and Ethel hatch an ingenious plot to make their husbands stop wearing disreputable clothes in public.
Ricky proudly displays his sweatshirt from his alma mater, Havana U.

77-Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined
Lucy winds up with drops in her eyes when Ricky visits an oculist, but it takes more than impaired vision to quell her latest attempts to crash the show at Ricky's nightclub -- this time with a sizzling jitterbug dance. In this episode, Fred and Ethel don raccoon coats for a classic rendition of "The Varsity Drag."

78-Ricky's Old Girlfriend
Ricky creates a fictitious old flame (Carlota Romero) to make Lucy fly into a jealous rage. By coincidence, a singer by the same name is actually appearing in New York. The next evening, a press agent arranges for Carlota Romero (with whom Ricky did work many years ago) to see Ricky again.

79-The Million-Dollar Idea
Lucy and Ethel have visions of making a million dollars by bottling and selling old-fashioned salad dressing -- until their operations reach the point of diminishing returns, largely because of their bizarre views on how to run a business. Watch as Lucy and Ethel, a.k.a. Isabella Klump and Margaret McMertz, invent the infomercial.

80-Ricky Minds the Baby
Ricky changes his vacation plans so he can spend all his time with Little Ricky. Lucy uses her free time to go shopping, but when she returns she finds Little Ricky wandering the hallway by himself. Ricky and Fred have been so involved in a TV football game, they hadn't seen him wander off. To teach Ricky a lesson, Lucy phones her husband and nonchalantly asks about Little Ricky. Panic sets in when the father realizes his son is missing. A classic father-and-son moment occurs when Ricky recites "Little Red Riding Hood" in Spanish.

81-Charm School
Lucy and Ethel enroll in a charm school to cope with their husbands' interest in a sweet young thing who exudes personality-plus. Natalie Schafer, who played Lovey Howell on "Gilligan's Island," guest-stars in this episode.

82-Sentimental Anniversary
Lucy and Ricky want to spend their thirteenth anniversary at home, but the Mertzes have arranged a surprise party for them. When Ethel asks Lucy where they'll be that night, Lucy quickly concocts some story that they'll be out. As the party guests start arriving, Lucy and Ricky move their champagne dinner into the hall closet. Finally they manage to divert the guests' attention so they can slip out the front door and make a properly "surprised" entrance.

83-Fan Magazine Interview
Lucy and Ricky madly prepare for a visit from a fan magazine writer who is doing a series on happily married couples. But their frayed nerves and a family quarrel make for a touch-and-go situation before the scribe arrives. Kathryn Card plays Ricky Ricardo fan Minnie Finch in this episode. (She later plays Lucy's mother in the series.)

84-Oil Wells
When a fast-talking petroleum "tycoon" from Texas tries to foist some phony stock off on the Ricardos and the Mertzes, they discover the ruse just in time to avoid being fleeced. Listen for the classic Ricky quote: "Don't cross their chickens before their bridges are hatched."

85-Ricky Loses His Temper
Ricky tries his hand at a little psychology to overcome Lucy's mania for buying hats. Madge Blake, who played Aunt Harriet in the TV series "Batman," guest-stars as Mrs. Mulford.

86-Home Movies
When Ricky makes a film and succeeds in selling it to a producer, Lucy decides to get into the act by producing her own western. When TV producer Bennett Green arrives to see Ricky's pilot, "Ricky Ricardo Presents Tropical Rhythms," he is treated to a spliced-in sampling of Lucy's theatrical travesty. In this episode, Lucy and Ethel surprise Ricky with their rendition of "I'm an Old Cowhand."

87-Bonus Bucks
Lucy and Ethel engage in a not-too-neighborly tiff over the ownership of a "bonus buck" when its serial number turns up in a newspaper. Watch Lucy jump into a vat of starch for a half-dollar in this episode.

88-Ricky's Hawaiian Vacation
When Ricky makes no provision for Lucy to accompany him on a trip to Hawaii, Lucy sets out to win a free trip to the ukulele capital for herself and the Mertzes. Frank Nelson returns as everyone's favorite game show host, Freddie Fillmore.

89-Lucy Is Envious
A wealthy ex-schoolmate of Lucy's is collecting for a charity. Lucy tells her friend to put her down for "five." But when the uppity friend arrives to collect the pledged funds, Lucy is shocked to learn that her "five" meant five hundred dollars. In order to raise the money, Lucy and Ethel get a job dressed as two maids from Mars in a stunt to publicize a science fiction movie. They "invade" the top of the Empire State Building and scare the daylights out of a group of hotel patrons.

90-Lucy Writes a Novel
Lucy decides to become an author after reading about a woman who won $10,000 for her book. Ricky, Fred, and Ethel find themselves the central characters in Lucy's first novel, "Real Gone With the Wind."

91-Lucy's Club Dance
Lucy organizes an orchestra among her girl friends and books them for a club dance. But the orchestra plays so horribly that she asks Ricky to come to a rehearsal and give them some advice. Determined to get publicity for the dance, Lucy announces the premiere performance of "Ricky Ricardo and His All-Girl Orchestra."

92-The Diner
Ricky becomes interested in a diner that is for sale, so the Ricardos and the Mertzes all buy it together. Right away, Ethel and Fred decide that they are doing all the work while Lucy and Ricky have all the fun. The couples decide to split the diner down the middle. The Ricardos' side says "A Little Bit of Cuba," and the Mertzes' side says "A Big Hunk of America."

93-The Black Wig
Ricky forbids Lucy to get "one of those new Italian haircuts." She rebels by borrowing a wig from her hairdresser Roberta, who insists Lucy looks like a different person with it on. Lucy plans to wear the wig so she can test Ricky's fidelity, but the salon manager tips off Ricky to the scheme. When Lucy puts on the wig and starts flirting, Ricky flirts back.

94-Tennessee Ernie Visits
When country cousin Tennessee Ernie Ford -- a hillbilly's hillbilly -- wears out his welcome with the Ricardos, Lucy tries a vamp act to scare him back to the mountains. Guest star: Tennessee Ernie Ford.

95-Tennessee Ernie Hangs On
Lucy gets sick of an extensive visit by Tennessee Ernie, who claims he is her cousin. She tries to get rid of the likeable character by pleading poverty. The scheme backfires when Tennessee Ernie promotes a benefit hoedown to assist Lucy and Ricky. Look for "Ernie Ford and His Four Hot Chicken Pickers" in this episode.

96-The Golf Game
Championship golfer Jimmy Demaret visits the Ricardos when Lucy and Ethel arrive at a bizarre scheme for combating their "golf widowship." The girls install a basketball court in the Ricardo living room and pretend to be as deeply absorbed in the game as their husbands are in the fairways. Guest star: Jimmy Demeret.

97-The Sublease
Hoping to spend the summer away, the Ricardos decide to sublet their apartment and split the profits with the Mertzes. Their tenant is a shy, timid soul who has been a witness in a murder trial and who wants nothing but peace and quiet. The deal is made when Ricky suddenly learns that his summer job has been canceled. Lucy stages a murder scene to frighten the tenant away so that she and Ricky can move back into the apartment. Jay Novello guest-stars as Mr. Beecher, the timid tenant.

98-Lucy Cries Wolf
Lucy decides to test Ricky's love for her by feigning a crisis that sends her husband sailing down the city streets to the side of a scheming feminine singer. Ricky becomes impatient with Lucy's false alarms and accuses her of "yelling tiger."

99-The Matchmaker
Armed with Cupid's bow and arrow, Lucy tries to bag a bachelor for a husband-hungry girlfriend. Unfortunately, the arrow Lucy shoots behaves like a boomerang.
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